Free from the nonprofit PAIRS Foundation
Say what you feel.
Be heard.
Practice with Yodi.
Yodi is a patient AI coach trained in PAIRS, the relationship-skills program that therapists have taught since 1983. Sixteen guided exercises help you confide, listen, let go of grudges and ask for what you want — on your own schedule, in complete privacy.
Free. No ads, no subscription, no upsell. Works on iPhone, iPad, Apple-silicon Macs and Android.
How it works
A practice partner who is always available
Most relationship skills are simple to understand and hard to use in the moment. Yodi gives you a safe place to rehearse until the words come naturally.
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01
Pick an exercise
Choose from four areas — communication, conflict, emotional connection and intimacy. Start with the Daily Temperature Reading; it takes about ten minutes.
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02
Talk it through with Yodi
Speak or type. Yodi walks you through each step, listens without judgment, and gently keeps you on track the way a skilled PAIRS facilitator would.
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03
Bring it home
Once the structure feels familiar, use it with a partner, a child, a parent or a friend. The skills are the same ones taught in PAIRS classes worldwide.
Sixteen exercises
The PAIRS toolkit, one conversation at a time
- Communication
Daily Temperature Reading
Check in. Feel closer.
A five-step conversation — appreciations, new information, puzzles, concerns with requests, and wishes, hopes and dreams. Originally developed by Virginia Satir, it is the single best place to begin.
- Communication
Clarifying Expectations
Start strong, stay close.
Six questions that surface what you actually want from a relationship, and the assumptions getting in the way.
- Communication
Talking Tips
Say what you feel — be heard with heart.
Ten sentence starters for confiding something joyful or sensitive with courage and clarity.
- Communication
Emptying the Emotional Jug
Pour out pain, make space for joy.
With permission, release anger, sadness, fear and worry — then notice the gratitude underneath.
- Communication
Caring Behaviors
Grow your Love Bank.
Name the small acts that make you feel loved, and learn to offer and receive them deliberately.
- Communication
Relationship Road Map
Find your path to lasting love.
Understand bonding as a biological need and trace the route from pain to pleasure in your relationship.
- Communication
Communication Stress Styles
What's your style under stress?
Placate, blame, compute or distract? Identify your default and practice the congruent alternative.
- Conflict
Volcano Anger Ritual
Let it out — without burning bridges.
Express intense anger fully and safely while a partner listens, following three simple rules.
- Conflict
Letting Go of Grudges
Free yourself with forgiveness.
Write a letting-go letter with Yodi's help and decide whether you are ready to release an old hurt.
- Conflict
Fair Fight for Change
Turn conflict into connection.
Raise an issue, say what you want instead, and negotiate on behalf of the relationship.
- Emotional connection
Untangling a Love Knot
Uncover what's really going on.
Surface the hidden expectations and assumptions quietly sabotaging closeness.
- Emotional connection
Joyless, Mindless, Loveless Messages
Change the story. Change your life.
Identify limiting beliefs carried since childhood and replace them with affirming truths.
- Emotional connection
Confiding an Emotional Allergy
Explore the triggers behind intense reactions.
Recognize when an old wound is being touched, confide it safely, and choose a new response.
- Emotional connection
Museum Tour of Past Hurts
Confide the past to grow closer now.
Walk a trusted partner through painful experiences in a way that builds understanding and intimacy.
- Emotional connection
Meditation on Death and Loss
Say what matters — while there's still time.
What would you say if today were your last day together? A reflection that puts the small stuff in its place.
- Intimacy
Exploring Desire
Tap into what turns you on — and why.
Fifteen questions, alone or with a partner, for more confident and connected intimacy.
About PAIRS
Why a relationship app is free
PAIRS — the Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills — was founded in 1983 by Lori Heyman Gordon, building on the work of Virginia Satir, Daniel Casriel and George Bach. For more than four decades the PAIRS Foundation, a nonprofit, has trained therapists, chaplains, educators and couples in the same skills Yodi teaches.
Yodi exists so that anyone, anywhere, can practice those skills without waiting for a class or paying for a session. There is no premium tier because the mission is the point.
Learn more about the PAIRS Foundation“After forty years as a psychiatrist and marital therapist, PAIRS is my most valuable professional and personal tool.”
From people using Yodi
I was skeptical about using an app for relationship coaching, but Yodi exceeded my expectations. My partner and I have noticed significant improvements in how we resolve conflicts and express our needs. It's like having a therapist in our pocket.
We were on the brink of separation. The structured approach helped us rebuild trust and intimacy. The exercises are easy to follow and have made a big difference.
Refreshing and very easy to use and understand.
From clinicians on PAIRS
PAIRS is radical in its simplicity and its hands-on approach… a unique and profoundly effective way to build and heal relationships.
I'm far more in love with my husband than ever… I believe PAIRS had an important part in that process.
My parents became a lot more loving after they went through PAIRS… they know how to work their problems out.
Research and evaluation
Built on evidence, not vibes
Relationship education has one of the strongest evidence bases in the behavioral sciences. These papers informed the PAIRS curriculum and the decision to deliver it through a conversational coach. Each opens as a PDF.
Relationship education outcomes
- Effects of relationship education on maintenance of couple relationship satisfaction
- Immediate effect of couple relationship education on low-satisfaction couples: a randomized clinical trial
- Distressed couples and marriage education
- Efficacy of communication skills training in marital disturbance
- Communication skills training and couples' intimacy and quality of life
- Communication and understanding in marriage
- Benefits of flexible-delivery relationship education
Veterans, trauma and emotional pain
- Posttraumatic stress symptoms and marital adjustment among Israeli combat veterans
- The impact of PTSD on veterans' family relationships
- Brief treatments for the traumatized
- Hearing the suicidal patient's emotional pain
AI in mental-health support
Questions
Before you download
Still wondering about something? Use the chat button in the corner and a PAIRS assistant will answer.
Is Yodi really free?
Yes. Yodi is published by the PAIRS Foundation, a nonprofit. There are no ads, no subscription and nothing to unlock.
Is Yodi therapy?
No. Yodi is a coaching and skills-practice app, not a substitute for a licensed therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis or believe you need therapy, please contact a professional. In the United States you can call or text 988 at any time.
Where should I start?
Begin with the Daily Temperature Reading. Practice it with Yodi once or twice, then try it with a partner, friend or family member.
Do I need a partner to use it?
No. Every exercise can be done on your own with Yodi as your practice partner. Many people start solo and invite a partner later.
What if Yodi doesn't understand me?
Tap the keyboard icon at the bottom right of any exercise to type instead of speak. If you prefer voice, hold the microphone button for half a second before and after you talk.
What if Yodi goes quiet?
Say or type “Thank you, Yodi” or “Yodi, please continue.”
Is what I say private?
Your conversations are used only to run the exercise you are in. Yodi does not sell data or show ads. Full details are in the Yodi Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.
Which devices work?
iPhone and iPad (iOS), Macs with Apple silicon, and Android phones and tablets through Google Play.
Ten minutes today. A different conversation tonight.
Download Yodi and start with the Daily Temperature Reading.
Scan to install on your phone